Code Red Link Farm: "All the links fit to print!" "Infinitely Recharged" "Numerically Controlled" "Drop Forged" "Organic, Grass-Fed" "RoHS Compliant" "Servo Actuated" "UL Listed" (Not really) "Gluten Free" "Non-Habit-Forming" "Electrogalvanized" "NP-Complete" "Sustainably Sourced" "Ultra Pasteurized" "Fat Free, Sugar Free" "Wood Fired" "Non-GMO" "Biometrically Authenticated" "Picked By Hand" "Pulse-Width Modulated" "Parametrically Polymorphic" "Cloud Enabled" "Artisanally Crafted" "Naturally Decaffeinated" "Harmonically Balanced" "Dual-Polarized Quadrature Phase-Shift Keyed" "Cryptographically Secured" "Copper Clad" "Vitamin Enriched" "Non-Fake News" "Stratum-One Synchronized" "Non-Disintermediated" "Fully Referential" "RAMAN Amplified" "Syntactically Congruent" "Liquid Cooled" "Seasoned Thought Leader" "Mobile Optimized" "BPA-Free" "Hashed & Salted" "Kalman Filtered" "Subsumptionally Architected" "Hand Stitched" "Fully Vetted" "Quantumly Entangled"